


not a straightforward kind of beauty

by softbebe



Series: always ends soft [11]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 20:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softbebe/pseuds/softbebe
Summary: For Minhyuk, the moments he loves the most are the moments when he can really breathe and realize what they have.





	not a straightforward kind of beauty

**Author's Note:**

> jk not all of the next 5 are gonna be super angsty. still building up to it. (happy monsta x day!! 11/14, a new international holiday, i'm so proud)

For Minhyuk, the moments he loves the most are the moments when he can really breathe and realize what they have.

It’s waking up in another country with Hoseok right there, still sound asleep. Usually it’s the other way around, Hoseok up first and starting his day, but sometimes staring as Minhyuk sleeps on.

He knows Hoseok likes watching him sleep. He also knows that Hoseok thinks he’s beautiful. He’d like to counter that sometime, tell Hoseok how beautiful _he_ is, inside and out. How beautiful he is fast asleep.

It’s not a straightforward kind of beauty. Hoseok pouts in his sleep, always looks a bit childlike. Sometimes he’ll scrunch up his eyebrows, like he’s dreaming something very serious. His hair, when Minhyuk fans his fingers through some of it, is brittle from so many years of dye work. His skin is red around his nose and his chin, and he has blemishes here and there, in various stages of healing.

But he’s Hoseok, and Minhyuk knows the moment he wakes up he’ll let out a sleepy groan, slowly open his eyes, slowly focus on Minhyuk and break out into a smile.

Minhyuk leans in and brushes his lips against Hoseok’s. The angle’s not quite right so Minhyuk’s nose nudges against Hoseok’s, but he still feels a tingle in his stomach.

He wonders how many he can get away with. Leaning back in, skimming his lips over Hoseok’s a second time, he starts to tally them. Three, four. Just chaste presses now – five, six – and is it chaste if he’s stealing kisses from a sleeping partner?

Hoseok doesn’t stir. Minhyuk watches him for a few more moments. How long has it been since he started waking up with Hoseok beside him, under the same covers?

It’s so natural now – whenever they share hotel rooms, they climb into the same bed without a thought. They snuggle before going to sleep; sometimes they talk. Sometimes they’ll have sex and sometimes they just want to rest their weary bodies. Whoever’s closest to the light turns it off. Hoseok likes to fall asleep with Minhyuk against him, either holding him or being held by him, but they both move around enough in their sleep to wake up with some space between them.

“Hoseok,” he tries, seeing if he can get away without the honorific.

Hoseok sleeps on, and Minhyuk grins. Kisses him again, with a smack of his lips this time, being silly.

“Hoseokie.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows twitch. He makes a sound deep in his throat, eyelids fluttering open. It takes a few moments, but then he finds Minhyuk, awareness coming into his expression.

And indeed he does smile, eyes squinting shut, laugh coming out of his nose. His voice is still mostly air.

“Were you watching me sleep?”

“Yeah,” Minhyuk says, because there’s no reason to be coy about it.

“Did you like what you saw?”

“I did.”

Hoseok wriggles closer, touches his nose to Minhyuk’s, rubs them together a few times. It’s so utterly adorable that all Minhyuk can do is crinkle his own nose and shut his eyes in a smile.

“I had a dream,” Hoseok says, settling his head back onto his own pillow.

Minhyuk opens his eyes just in time to see Hoseok’s hand the moment before it touches his cheek, doing nothing but rest there, palm warm and soft.

“Yeah?” Minhyuk prompts.

“We were on stage performing Fighter but it was all Jooheonie’s rap for some reason –”

“The entire thing?”

“Yeah, the entire thing. So like, the rest of us just danced the whole time he was rapping, but my pants ripped halfway through the song and I was so embarrassed.”

His hand slides down to rest on Minhyuk’s neck, his thumb brushing a soothing pattern. “You felt bad for me so you took off your pants right there on stage and gave them to me –”

“What?!”

“Seriously,” Hoseok says, laughing.

“What, so I was just dancing around without any pants on?”

Through his giggles, Hoseok says, “Yeah, but then when I was trying to get your pants on, I ripped them in half –”

“Oh my god!”

“– so we were both just dancing around without pants on and Jooheonie’s just rapping the whole time.”

“Hyung, what the hell?” Minhyuk curls into Hoseok’s chest, laughter taking him over.

“The best part,” Hoseok says, and now he can hardly speak through his laughter, clinging tight to Minhyuk. “The best part – was afterwards – Jooheon came up to us – and he told us he was so disappointed – and he said he was thinking of asking us to leave the group – because we’d tarnished his name.”

Minhyuk laughs until he’s gasping, until the tinkling of Hoseok’s laughter has rung out. Hoseok flops onto his back, arms sprawled over his face, and Minhyuk slings a leg over his hips and climbs on top of him.

“Hyung,” he says. Hoseok peeks at him through his arms. “That’s the stupidest dream I’ve ever heard.”

Hoseok loops his arms around Minhyuk’s neck and pulls him down, smiles against his lips and kisses him at the same time.

“I liked it. You were taking care of me.”

“Your breath is stale,” Minhyuk says, sitting up again. He rests his hands on Hoseok’s chest. “Your hair’s a mess, and you need to wash your face.”

Hoseok blinks up at him, waiting for what he can already tell is coming.

Minhyuk smiles. “You’re beautiful.”

Hoseok melts beneath him, so delighted.

Minhyuk thinks about it often – Hoseok getting sentimental about them not being able to go out like normal people can. But Minhyuk just wants to say, _What’s the difference? We have this. We have more than whatever we don’t have._

He understands the appeal of what Hoseok wants. Understands it so much it hurts if he really lets himself dwell on it, so he doesn’t. Except for the slip-up moments, but those don’t happen often.

He loves what they have, even though they have to hide it. Even though they don’t say enough of the important stuff. Even though Hoseok worries and frets and tries never to show it. Despite all the limitations and complications, Minhyuk thinks that what they have is quite beautiful. It’s just not a straightforward kind of beauty.

He brushes his thumb along Hoseok’s collarbone, smiles when Hoseok smiles.

“What are you thinking about?” Hoseok asks him, taking his hand and tangling their fingers together.

Minhyuk shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“You’re lying,” Hoseok says, pouting. “What were you thinking about?”

Minhyuk looks down at Hoseok, really looks at him – at the radiance of his smile and the unguarded emotions in his eyes, emotions that are heavy and light and sink deep and flutter up around them. Sometimes Hoseok looks at him like there will never be anyone else for him, like Minhyuk is it. And yes, they’re young and foolish and they have obligations and a career that come before whatever they feel for each other, but sometimes Minhyuk lets himself wonder, _What if?_

An achy, sore mess of longing throbs in his chest, and he swallows to try to tamper it down. He smiles at Hoseok, who looks at him with eyes full of love (and it sends a shock through Minhyuk to think it, because he never lets himself think it, never lets himself entertain it, but now that he has he’s afraid that he won’t be able to stop).

He smiles down at Hoseok and says quietly, “Just you.”


End file.
